Dining on a Dime or Two

So Ugly It's Cute.  Not

D and I often find ourselves attending a performance at the Kalita Humphreys Theater in Dallas.  The place is a local treasure because it was designed and built by Frank Lloyd Wright.  Like royal subjects in the story about the Emperor's New Clothes, we all look past its squatty ugliness and profess admiration for its low ceilings and tiny, trapezoidal windows.  I believe the building may have been constructed during Wright's "I've Got a Splitting Headache" period.

Anyhoo, on the way to this frumpy landmark we like to drop by Morton's Steak House for a pre-theater dinner because it is on the way and you can dine divinely on Bar Bites during their non-prime time hours.  (Order before 6:30 or after 9:00 and you can pay for their nice selection of apps with the loose change you found in your couch.)  I know, I know, I cop to being a restaurant chain snob, but food goodness and high value trump delusions of grandeur any day.

Cocktail Wrangler Ryan

Ryan is the bartender and he is quick with a smile and remembered us after the first time we came.  (Either due to tipping largesse or a drunken brawl, I don't remember which.  Since he always seems especially welcoming my money's on the former.) He can make a mean martini ("You really have to commit to some serious shaking to get it cold enough to form ice crystals on top" says he) and he's smart and funny and hospitable.  He does not act all superior even though he is onto our cheap eats scam, and politely gives us the two minute warning before prices skyrocket so we can cram some more deeply discounted food in our gaping maws.

So we ordered their USDA Prime Cheeseburger Sliders featuring a one ounce patty, good cheddar cheese, tiny tomato, red onion and lettuce sandwiched in a miniature brioche bun.  They come as a set of three for $6, so roughly $1 a bite.  I snarfed up 6 ice cold raw oysters with freshly ground horseradish and spicy cocktail sauce served on a tray of crushed ice--again, a steal at $1 a piece.  My mom (has anyone noticed I mention her in almost every post?) always admonished us kids never to eat anything bigger than our heads, but this did not stop us from ordering the enormous platter of warm, house made potato chips surrounding a generously portioned crock of artery clogging blue cheese dip.  It was enough to feed an Irish family of 4 for the paltry sum of (surprise!) $6.  Since we needed something green we ordered the four tiny wedge salads made of crisp iceberg lettuce topped with chopped tomato, bacon and more blue cheese.  I am keeping the price of this last menu item a secret, but I'll give you a hint:  It starts with an S and ends in an ix.

Mmmmmmmm, Sliders

The drinks are cheap too, so we were outrageously fed and beveraged for a grand total of $38 before tax, title, and license.  Then we drove the short distance to Fred Flintstone's house and fell promptly into a restful slumber just as the show began.  Happens every time.  I blame Frank.